life, styling

Connections and chit chat

There’s a big difference between a genuine connection with real conversation and chit chat. However, chit chat can lead to a nice connection. A moment of humanity linking two people. I am all for that.

Today, I reached out to a couple people via messenger though I could have easily commented on their content on social media. The comments seem to lack connection and intentionality in communicating. Do you feel that way? I went to reply to a post and found myself tearing up because I was touched that person had that kind of impact on me. I couldn’t do the injustice on connection of dropping that one liner in a comment and walking away. I engaged. This person and I needed to connect on this. It was a serious matter, end of life stuff for family, that’s not always quick comment stuff… right?

I’m not saying I need to personally message everyone on social and start conversing about their lunch selections, but when friends are hurting, when they’re asking for prayers for a loved one, when they’re sharing personal battles, I chose to connect today, and I’m glad I did. I could use that virtual hug sometimes. The pause that someone intentionally opened the door to hug me and wait. Instead of side hug and run on the interwebs. Is it all the same to you?

In terms of chit chat… today a barista complimented my earrings. I appreciated it. I love these rainbow dangles. She asked where she could find them. I told her I sold them. I needed to hurry up and post them! I did. But we ended up connecting over quirky, fun accessories because the interaction didn’t need to be rushed.

life

Hi, I’m Kayla, and…

Grief is odd. It’s weird and uncomfortable but also probably one of the most natural processes humans go through. There’s no right path, wading the waters of loss. That’s all to say that grief is something I was never prepared to walk in. Is anyone? There’s no book warning people what they’re about to step into when they lose a person. (False: I’m sure there are a number of books… but I sure as hell didn’t touch one prior to loss.)

I think when I meet someone new, there’s a subconscious desire to be known and know them, like not just the surface stuff. I mean, I feel that way anyway. I genuinely like getting to know WHO people are and where they came from and how they turned out this way… (I’m generally that chatty uber passenger, too.)

So when I meet people, I think the inner me, not showing her true cards, wants the new person to know Kelsey, my sister, the one who has been gone for almost three years, the one who it’s physically impossible to meet now… that’s who I’d love to introduce most people to when we’ve just met. Is that odd?

Or no? I don’t know. Someone who was so part of my personal history, my memories, and admirations, that’s who I’d like to introduce people to when they meet me… and it stings that my heart and mind work this way.

We all have our Scarlett letters, curses set on us by outside forces, or badges of honor, the things we proudly display with our chest puffed up. Right? Some battle inside demons and Evil would love for these letters to consume your identity and cripple you with fear. I don’t want to live that way.

So I genuinely try not to, and I wade through the sometimes muddy waters of grief. I talk about Kelsey when it seems fitting. That part of me and our story isn’t shelved. The icky parts of life can often be used to help others in their muddy waters, too. So I hope you’ll keep “speaking your truth.” That’s what all the cool kids say… but I see it… don’t hold part of you back because you’re sad or scared or… or… or… that’s what I’d tell myself anyway.

life, travel

Time Travel and Stuff

Remind me how that happens again? The time passing what feels like in a blink specifically… I genuinely feel like the first quarter of the year has come and gone, but I was busy LIVING. I just couldn’t… wouldn’t make space for any creative outlets.

In January, I turned 30. My mom and I went to Italy for a week. It was the best of times. Legit, I lived. I coffee’d. I ate. I walked. I saw. ALL. THE. THINGS. No amount of pictures can make my tastebuds enjoy the January coffees again. We went to the island of Capri, saw the sights of Pompeii, and a snippet of Rome. We walked, rode buses and the underground, and thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Napoli/Naples.

I forgot to mention… PIZZA. The birthplace of PIZZA is where we stayed. We had pizza once or twice a day and it was glorious. It was eye opening and pure. Oh. My. Pizza. Is there pizza like this in the States at all?

I’m already itching to experience  that city again. I didn’t get the tattoo I attempted to schedule, as the artist cancelled due to his prior booking, and I’m not going to lie… that SUCKED. It didn’t ruin the trip though.

My mom had a couple things she really wanted to do in Italy, and seeing the Vatican was on the list. Between the Archaeological Museum in Naples and the Vatican Museum in Rome, we were overwhelmed with culture, history, and all things beautiful. There really are hardly words for the experience.

In addition to the coffee and pizza (and desserts), the other perk of our trip were the people. The guides that knew more than a handful of languages and were experts in history and always pursuing more information were just mind-blowing. On our Capri tour, my mom and I became fast friends with another family on the tour, a priest, his mom, and his aunt. They were from Spain, visiting the priest who now works in Naples. I love meeting new people while traveling.

I’ll attach photos shortly. Because words are difficult. I’ve got to wrap this up, but I’ve never felt so in awe as I was that week. I’m not convinced time travel isn’t a thing, but I think I will pause the LIFE BUTTON, and write again soon. Maybe.