life

Hi, I’m Kayla, and…

Grief is odd. It’s weird and uncomfortable but also probably one of the most natural processes humans go through. There’s no right path, wading the waters of loss. That’s all to say that grief is something I was never prepared to walk in. Is anyone? There’s no book warning people what they’re about to step into when they lose a person. (False: I’m sure there are a number of books… but I sure as hell didn’t touch one prior to loss.)

I think when I meet someone new, there’s a subconscious desire to be known and know them, like not just the surface stuff. I mean, I feel that way anyway. I genuinely like getting to know WHO people are and where they came from and how they turned out this way… (I’m generally that chatty uber passenger, too.)

So when I meet people, I think the inner me, not showing her true cards, wants the new person to know Kelsey, my sister, the one who has been gone for almost three years, the one who it’s physically impossible to meet now… that’s who I’d love to introduce most people to when we’ve just met. Is that odd?

Or no? I don’t know. Someone who was so part of my personal history, my memories, and admirations, that’s who I’d like to introduce people to when they meet me… and it stings that my heart and mind work this way.

We all have our Scarlett letters, curses set on us by outside forces, or badges of honor, the things we proudly display with our chest puffed up. Right? Some battle inside demons and Evil would love for these letters to consume your identity and cripple you with fear. I don’t want to live that way.

So I genuinely try not to, and I wade through the sometimes muddy waters of grief. I talk about Kelsey when it seems fitting. That part of me and our story isn’t shelved. The icky parts of life can often be used to help others in their muddy waters, too. So I hope you’ll keep “speaking your truth.” That’s what all the cool kids say… but I see it… don’t hold part of you back because you’re sad or scared or… or… or… that’s what I’d tell myself anyway.

Uncategorized

The need for content

They say… you know they, the they we can’t name… they say creating content is as simple as just documenting what you’re already doing. No extra steps except pausing to document the moments. Way easier said than done! Am I right?

There are extra steps after. Formulating the perfect framing context in comment or blog format. Including enough detail and humor or sarcasm to keep things interesting, but not so elaborate one gets bored. What is the objective? To share, to entertain, to … who the heck knows! It’s a real struggle.

I often get overwhelmed when I think of sharing content, and I know I’m not alone. I’m resolved to believe now that it merely, simply, absolutely just requires practice. The overthinking, the weight of pressure, the perfectionism, it fades, right? Of course. I’m trying to convince myself.

life, lularoe

Motivated and Stuff

Somewhere along the timeline between 2017 and 2019, I lost sight of my goals. Auto-pilot engaged, and I was caught up in the daily tasks that didn’t include foresight.  The daily tasks left out appropriate self-care, soul searching, and dream chasing. The daily tasks focused on the pressures of the month, family balance, and survival.

I’m not proud of what I was or who I became, but THANK GOD for change and a big dose of reality to wake me up. In addition to the splash of WAKE UP, I got a new sponsor for this Lularoe biz, and she and the team that came with that change, has brought new focus and motivation. It’s like a page turned, from the hum drum life and business struggles to being able to reach again.

For months into years, I had forgotten that we really only achieve what we intend to, so when our intentions become a rushed shrug, our results get a shrug of “oh well!”, too. I am so thankful to see that again. I have goals set this month that came with the “April Incentive” for Lularoe. The challenge is to sell 10% more than your best month from January 2018-March 2019. Well that’s a huge LEAP from my sales lately to that challenge, almost to the tune of DOUBLE. But I’m running for it, and I need to keep my head down and sprint.

I’m going to celebrate this victory of a month. Even when I don’t reach that challenge. Do you know why? Because I see that hope again. I feel the growing pains which mean I’m growing again, and that deserves celebrating. I’m already having my best month since January 2018, but selling the amount of January 2018 is a challenge in itself and then to sell 10% more is a stretch. See why I’m celebrating? Something awesome is happening and I’m just stoked again. Here’s to stoking the flames!