life

Hi, I’m Kayla, and…

Grief is odd. It’s weird and uncomfortable but also probably one of the most natural processes humans go through. There’s no right path, wading the waters of loss. That’s all to say that grief is something I was never prepared to walk in. Is anyone? There’s no book warning people what they’re about to step into when they lose a person. (False: I’m sure there are a number of books… but I sure as hell didn’t touch one prior to loss.)

I think when I meet someone new, there’s a subconscious desire to be known and know them, like not just the surface stuff. I mean, I feel that way anyway. I genuinely like getting to know WHO people are and where they came from and how they turned out this way… (I’m generally that chatty uber passenger, too.)

So when I meet people, I think the inner me, not showing her true cards, wants the new person to know Kelsey, my sister, the one who has been gone for almost three years, the one who it’s physically impossible to meet now… that’s who I’d love to introduce most people to when we’ve just met. Is that odd?

Or no? I don’t know. Someone who was so part of my personal history, my memories, and admirations, that’s who I’d like to introduce people to when they meet me… and it stings that my heart and mind work this way.

We all have our Scarlett letters, curses set on us by outside forces, or badges of honor, the things we proudly display with our chest puffed up. Right? Some battle inside demons and Evil would love for these letters to consume your identity and cripple you with fear. I don’t want to live that way.

So I genuinely try not to, and I wade through the sometimes muddy waters of grief. I talk about Kelsey when it seems fitting. That part of me and our story isn’t shelved. The icky parts of life can often be used to help others in their muddy waters, too. So I hope you’ll keep “speaking your truth.” That’s what all the cool kids say… but I see it… don’t hold part of you back because you’re sad or scared or… or… or… that’s what I’d tell myself anyway.

Uncategorized

The need for content

They say… you know they, the they we can’t name… they say creating content is as simple as just documenting what you’re already doing. No extra steps except pausing to document the moments. Way easier said than done! Am I right?

There are extra steps after. Formulating the perfect framing context in comment or blog format. Including enough detail and humor or sarcasm to keep things interesting, but not so elaborate one gets bored. What is the objective? To share, to entertain, to … who the heck knows! It’s a real struggle.

I often get overwhelmed when I think of sharing content, and I know I’m not alone. I’m resolved to believe now that it merely, simply, absolutely just requires practice. The overthinking, the weight of pressure, the perfectionism, it fades, right? Of course. I’m trying to convince myself.

lularoe, travel, Uncategorized

Wyoming, the beautiful.

Wow.

I sort of just want to post photos with no text because the views were breathtaking and words do no justice.

But I’ll tell you about my trip. I had an entrepreneurship retreat (I think we’re calling it that…). I paid for the experience in May. It was a steep investment at the time, so this trip was seriously anticipated and needed. I love to travel, and I feel most myself when I’m experiencing new places independently and in a small group with people I love. That’s all just to say… I needed this trip at the beginning of September.

I drove the five hours to Dallas, flew to Salt Lake City, and was bussed to Wyoming. This was a three day excursion. We stayed another three days in Wyoming for the retreat and then journeyed home. The three days in Wyoming were special. Reflective. I didn’t talk a lot but I absorbed as much as I could. I learned tools to help better inform my business actions. I’m stoked to implement new procedures.

Blah. Blah. Blah. So that’s why I went. What I breathed in was fresh air. What I saw was like artwork from God himself. What I felt was NOT hellish heat but cool caresses on my nose and cheeks and the warmth of a beanie and Mimi scarf. I am pro Autumn. I am pro September in Wyoming.

travel

Italy Part 2

Our first day in Napoli was rainy, and we didn’t have grand plans. Shopping. Food. Coffee. Explore. Those were the extent of my expectations. Mom had in the past enjoyed hop on hop off tours, so that happened. We waited in the rain for a bus and took it around town until shopping and food beckoned. We had a great time exploring and the intimidating new city started feeling more magical and historically beautiful by the minute.

We thoroughly enjoyed all the pizzerias and coffee spots we found. We didn’t eat any McD’s that day, but we were impressed with the selection of treats. 😍

Oh, I forgot. I am a terrible planner. I didn’t heed any travel advice I read prior, so I didn’t pack well. I knew we were traveling in winter and it’s likely rain. I still didn’t pack a waterproof jacket. Or boots. On day one when we encountered rain, I was wearing a wool coat. We needed a shopping trip to adequately clothe this thirty year old.

The sun came out midday. All was right in the world.

travel

Italy Part 1

Mom and I went to Italy for my 30th birthday in January. It was our first trip and my first international trip excluding cruises.

I flew from Dallas to Chicago to meet Mom. I flew into Chicago and was greeted with a snow storm and Chicago pizza. We flew from Chicago to Zurich to Naples. We left Chicago around 8 pm and got to Naples around 4 pm. We didn’t even get to go into the Zurich airport because of flight delays leaving Chicago; we got shuttles around outside the airport in Switzerland.

The first walks around the area we were staying in Naples had Mom and myself a bit apprehensive. Should be stay here all week? Do we find somewhere else?

We were told by the front desk when we arrived that restaurants were closed between 5-6:30. We didn’t quite interpret that right, and left to explore around 5:15, only to come back to the hotel empty handed for dinner. We ordered in for dinner and happened upon the best desserts. I seriously cannot wait to go back to Italy for coffee and tiramisu and all the desserts. And pizza, too. We became so much more comfortable after exploring in the morning. And I’m so glad we stayed.

life

Decluttering and Stuff

I’m a mess. In pretty much every aspect of my life, I’m kind of a cluttered mess. I am thirty, and I’m still not really sure what one should do with mail. You know, like when it arrives, and then after you open it, and then when you’ve seen the contents… where do you put it? I think the trash is probably a good answer. But what if you need it again?

My clothing, my desk, my shipping station… all a mess. Because where do you put things? I’m a professed terrible unpacker and locator of things new home. When we moved to our house, almost four years ago, a sweet woman from our church unpacked my kitchen boxes for me. I’ve talked about it over the years because it was such a sweet gift and act of service. I am terrible at unpacking in a new home and making a space for everything one owns.

On that topic, who wants to pack and unpack my next move? Any takers? Anyone take great joy in that process? Today, I started. I purged through my kitchen, throwing old or expired pharmaceuticals, teas, coffees, and glassware. I really feel like I made equal parts progress and more mess. Can you relate? That’s the thing about organization… I always feel like I make a bigger mess overall, and then I’m left with the feelings of “What do I like next?”

Next on my list is my personal closet, workspace, reading nook, and… everywhere else. It requires a lot of personal reflection as I prepare to donate/get rid of much of the things I’ve help onto for far to long. I’m so excited to turn the page and not feel overwhelmed by the mess. Here’s to productivity this Sunday!

life, lularoe

Motivated and Stuff

Somewhere along the timeline between 2017 and 2019, I lost sight of my goals. Auto-pilot engaged, and I was caught up in the daily tasks that didn’t include foresight.  The daily tasks left out appropriate self-care, soul searching, and dream chasing. The daily tasks focused on the pressures of the month, family balance, and survival.

I’m not proud of what I was or who I became, but THANK GOD for change and a big dose of reality to wake me up. In addition to the splash of WAKE UP, I got a new sponsor for this Lularoe biz, and she and the team that came with that change, has brought new focus and motivation. It’s like a page turned, from the hum drum life and business struggles to being able to reach again.

For months into years, I had forgotten that we really only achieve what we intend to, so when our intentions become a rushed shrug, our results get a shrug of “oh well!”, too. I am so thankful to see that again. I have goals set this month that came with the “April Incentive” for Lularoe. The challenge is to sell 10% more than your best month from January 2018-March 2019. Well that’s a huge LEAP from my sales lately to that challenge, almost to the tune of DOUBLE. But I’m running for it, and I need to keep my head down and sprint.

I’m going to celebrate this victory of a month. Even when I don’t reach that challenge. Do you know why? Because I see that hope again. I feel the growing pains which mean I’m growing again, and that deserves celebrating. I’m already having my best month since January 2018, but selling the amount of January 2018 is a challenge in itself and then to sell 10% more is a stretch. See why I’m celebrating? Something awesome is happening and I’m just stoked again. Here’s to stoking the flames!